Previous Comedy Skit Descriptions from the Vault
Thrill to the driving antics of Sanje and his Quickie Cab (a division of Quickie Mart). This is the first of our proud new Cab Driver Series. Grant thought it up. Damn, that means it might even be good! This series was filmed on the mean streets of Charlotte (Hey I'm just quoting Channel 9 - I didn't call it that) and it features real life people whose lives change as a consequence of getting into a cab... Sanje's cab. In tonight's Cab Driver trilogy, we feature (1) the return of Unibomber (who was kind enough to escape from jail for us so that he could guest star as himself, and who always has something silly up his sleeves - seriously, he's a real card!), (2) a man who gets a treatment on the way to see his chiropractor (Sanje knows his trade), and (3) and the tragic story of Shane (the Cowboy) and Squirrely (the trusted sidekick). Apparently it is time for Squirelly to be "fixed," so please put the boy youngins to bed before this installment airs. The girls, on the other hand, might get a real kick out of tonight's show!
Nick Randberg has a new look as he appears as a guest on the Miracle Whip Show with your host Miracle Whip (Mandy). Will Nick be a bad guest and have to be spanked?
Kalvin Klutz presents a new fashion video that will make you want to go out and buy new underwear... Or buy something. Anything, dammit! This ad features subliminal messages, but then what ad doesn't?
NeutrinoCam music video by Dead City Radio. Cool band.
WRESTLING IS BACK with Rick Flair's twin sister in a Texas Chainsaw, Bunk House, Chain-Link, Battle Royal, No Rules Death Match against the Z-Axis Allstars! Don't miss this one!
By the way, we carefully crafted tonight's show to the 3 to 5 year old range, so that even the U.S. Attorney General, John Ashcroft, can understand it. Of course, he is likely to see it as some sort of terrorist plot...the same way he did when he recently raided and closed down a medical marajuana co-op in California (just a few days after Sept 11 - as though he had nothing better to do that day!) Are you feeling safer now?
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Taxi-Cab confessions, or something like that, is coming soon. This series will blow away anything you have ever seen on television. Drama, tragedy, intellectual depth... need I say more? Indeed, some might call it Shakespearian. Plus some of the most fabulous looking hunks and babes you have ever seen!
On the last show.....We present an epic tale of the Old West to rival the likes of High Plains Drifter, The Wild Bunch, and Heaven's Gate. Once Upon A Time in the West there were these ornery varmits who were forced to confront a lone hairdresser, Florette. Florette IS the Great American Individual. A lone wolf. Forced to tame the Wild West by sheer circumstance!! Can Florette turn these cowboy misfits into productive members of society? Will Nick Randberg's ancestor Abraham Randberg pull a fast one with his Snake Oil routine? Will somebody get hornswaggled, bushwhacked, and bamboozled? Tune in and find out.
The Urban Hunter only interviews his guests while sitting high up in a tree stand. (Deer hunting has gone to his head). But can he pull off his interviews from high above? Our story parallels the existential story of Sysiphus, only our story is deeper. Much, much deeper. With much much more slapstick. For your entertainment, our interviewer will fall on his head, only to climb back up again and again. Now, that's life!
Nick Randberg has done it again. Just when you thought he couldn't possibly come up with another weird song, Nick brings us the Ballad of Florette. When, oh when will the record company execs who handle "N Sick" and "Brittany Spears" wake up and realise that the next teen singing sensation will be "Nick Randberg"!!!!!!
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During the days of the wild west, there were gunfighters and all that. This show features the third installment of our now-infamous gunfighter series. The dramatic openning, starring real-life-actor-turned-zaxis-amateur-Bobby, will leave you speechless. (And gasping for content like a fish out of water... A goldfish, perhaps?). And yes, children. Squirrelly, the strange rodent-like creature-cowboy loved far and wide by innocent children appears in this series again. Why? Because all wild west gunfighters had them, just as they collected goldfish, and we are required by the FCC to be historically accurate. Or at least as accurate as the commercials you watch on television. But did you know that our historical research reveals that the strange rodent-like cowboy has a twin rodent named Weisel? And did you know that the famous cowboy, Shane, has a twin brother named Shane II who makes a guest appearance in our show and tells mortal jokes? And then there's that kid who calls out, "Come back Shane!" Well, we don't want to talk about what happens to him. Suffice it to say that filmmaker Sam Peckinpaw would have to hang himself high if he saw the clip. Damn, I can't keep track of all this crap. This show features all of the footage that had been censored from our previous two gunfighter episodes. Normally, stuff like that would have ended up on the cutting room floor. But we here at zaxis do not use cutting room floors like those crybabies in Hollywood. We shoot and edit 1:1. What we shoot, we dare to show! It is extremely, dare I say it?... daring! There. I said it. But I'm not done. What else are we featuring on this show? Cool Whip, our sexual sensation, has a show about....sex. What a surprise! Bill Arabi music video in Neutrino Cam! Gastonia's hottest psychic Madam Reba gets a call from a crack ho!
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Once again Z-Axis dares to tell the truth! Or at least the half-truth. We dare to critically examine the sordid history of NoDa back in the days of gunfighters. There was one par-ti-ku-lar gunfighter who was legendary. I forget his name. Anyway, this isn't about him. It is about the others. But they were BAD too. Real, real bad. Bad attitute. Bad hair. Bad acting. Check out Black Bart and see if the rumors about him are true. And what is it about the gunfighter named Shane (or is it Shame?) that drives him to face off with Black Bart? And don't forget the boy-like creature who lives in the trees, eats nuts and answers to the name of some kinda rodent. This is the NoDa character that we are all sure to grow to love someday in the distant future.
Well, you caint tell a gunfighter story right unless you tell it with a travelling minstrel. Nick Randberg sings us the story of Bad "Black" Bart, and I personally was moved to tears as I heard it. Let's just hope I never have to hear it again, because I just caint take this crap anymore.
The show then takes a terrible twist. Adrian and ACB are great fans of a local WBT radio talk show. So they decided to invite the radio hosts to Z-Axis in order to increase their audience size to at least 16. What follows... well, we're not proud. There is an ad break that is so disgusting that I had to rewind it and watch it over and over again as I played the star spangled banner to it (See the Nick Randberg Hand Brake excerpt for the meaning of this crpytic comment, but don't watch this excerpt or you will go blind).
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Famous TV info-dude Pirhana Rivera brings you an EXCLUSIVE prison interview with the Unibomber http://www.ed.brocku.ca/~rahul/Misc/unibomber.html to find out what's going on in in this guy's head. Ted Kozinski reveals the childhood trauma that made him what he is today. What specific childhood incident turned him against technology? And why, oh why, lowly viewer, does his almost-girlfriend regret allowing the Unibomber to almost get to FIRST BASE?? GASP. Only Pirhana Rivera can get to the bottom - pardon the pun - of this one! Find out the truth. Not that seedy, gritty, dirty kind of truth that Entertainment Tonight exploits. But the clean, pure, its-morning-in-america truth that only Pirhana Rivera is able to obtain. It may cost a lot, but what TRUTH doesn't cost a fortune in this dog eat dog infocommercial world?
ButtCo Labs (a major corporate sponsor of Z-Axis) comes out with some new products for the kids. Then recalls the products due to major legal problems. Again.
Z-Axis auditions some new talent, Christie, Kimberly, and Elphie.
ButtCo labs has a new cola product and has hired an ex KGB agent to do some taste tests at your local capitalist mall. Use your imagination.
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On tonight's show: Someone once said that there are four kinds of lies..... lies, damn lies, statistics, and HISTORY. I don't want to go into the details about a vast and long lasting conspiracy here, but a sport which existed since the time of the Cave People seems to be completely missing from our history books. I'm talking about the ancient form of combat, HOT SPOON FIGHTING. What's that, you say? Never heard of it? EXACTLY! NOW the story can be told. Tune in tonight and discover the story that THEY don't want you to know.
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On this night's show..... First: the BAD news. There is no socially redeeming segment on tonight's show so please do not complain about the lack of socially redeeming aspects to the show. We already know this. Consequently, consider any negative comments "pre-registered." We will not be receiving negative comments about this show as they will be considered offensively redundant by the experts here at Z-Axis.
Now to the GOOD news. For the first time in our 10 year history, there will be no complaints about our show. So we felt it is high time to celebrate by asking viewers to call in and complement us about how wonderful the show is (or could be at some future date under different circumstances, such as different actors, producers, etc). All through tonight's show, we will provide a phone number for you to call in and give high praise to the wonderful skits and high-brow entertainment that only we (and the people who put out Survivor) can provide. And feel free to send us money, or have unprotected sex with multiple Z-Axis partners. It is time to celebrate. It is time to reproduce!
On to the show: .The Crawlin' Angels are back, helping people solve their petty problems. Petty is the word for the day.
Also on tonight's show, Renatta takes her fashion show to the Belmont drive in theater. Scary!
You long time viewers of Z-Axis remember our former talk show host Ready Whip. We have had many requests to bring back Vizzarri's (who???) favorite Z-Axis character, but unfortunately, Ready Whip has moved to Tierra Del Fuego. On tonight's show we present the premier of fabulous babe Melissa starring as "Cool Whip", the talk show host who knows how to "handle" her guests. Dont miss the disgusting clown sex segment. Remember: there is no socially redeeming segment in tonight's show!
Scott Actually, Ka-Ching, "Jeff," Ryan Miller, and other missfits bring you what may be THE LEAST SOCIALLY REDEEMING Z-AXIS SKIT OF ALL TIME! Well, it wasn't exactly a "skit." Indeed, Ratso - our lawyer - informs us that it doesn't fit the legal definition of "skit" because this segment has no structure whatsoever. But we're callin it a "skit," so there. Call 704-358-0539 during the show and vote. We would like to hear your favorable opinions over and over again.
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Tonight's episode features a tour de farce performance based on a hypothetical scenario that everyone has asked themselves at some point in their Miss Lonelyheart lives: when, oh when, will Wonderwoman ever take on Hitler's top henchmen? Not Joseph Goebels or Arnold Schwartzneger or any of those guys. We're talkin the top of the food chain: Hitler's watermelon. The fruit in charge. And what is the evil watermelon up to, anyway? Find out why the American public has become brain-dead after watching so much TV. Could it be that commercial American television is a tool of opiation programmed by the evil Nazi fruit to conquer the mammal world? Can Wonderwoman - that oh-so-wonderously-endowed wondermammal - do anything to save us, the lowly viewers of this pulp? Will the commercial Networks continue to spawn strange and bitter fruits? Stay tuned for the most over-the-top episode since our notorious Thanksgiving Food Fight. Of course, Nick Randberg continues to provide deep poetic insight into the condition of modern humanity, so you will want to bring your hankies. And for God's sake: root for Wonderwoman. She may have bit off more than she can chew this time.
And for those fool enough to watch through the first 20 minutes of this special version of reality TV, David Childers will be your reward. We are not worthy of such talent - but we're not complain'in. Shot in Neutrinocam, no less. You villll liiike eeet!
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Ladies and Gentlemen. ButtCo Labs wants you to know the TRUTH about Marajuana. They hired the best talent in town - Robert Downey Jr and Dennis Hopper - and spared not a single dime to bring the public the full blown gospel truth about this demon weed. Tonight's educational show spotlights the horrors of marajuana, especially those who inject this dastardly drug into their veins. So please, lowly viewer. Tell your children! Tell your neighbors! Tell the world! Learn the truth before it's too late.
Of course, who do we count on to protect us from these evil marajuana killers? Cops. True blue warriors against the devil's drug. Indeed, after watching our real life documentary featuring real life cops on the beat in NoDa, you will never see them the same again. Duane Young makes his Z-Axis debut. And survives.
Charlie's Angels are back for a battle against the evil General Tso. The Angels kick his butt, so he fires up FrankenHitrer to do his evil bidding. Who writes this stuff?
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With "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and "Weakest Link" riding high in the ratings, everybody in television seems to be jumping on the game show bandwagon, but we here at Z-Axis refuse to run with the crowd and will not stoop so low as to copy the networks and their game shows. Until now. Tune in tonight and watch "Who Wants to Win Stuff?" This new and improved game show was shot on location at the Catawba Nuclear Power Station, which - contrary to popular wisdom - DOES NOT produce mutated people. At least not THAT mutated. (Hey - what game show host isn't a bizarre mutation of some kind?) Scott Actually plays Biff Malibu: Game Show Host Extraordinare, Lobster X is a brilliant contestant, and special guest appearance by your fabulous bartendress Pam. Who will win? Who cares? Game Show Audience played by Robert, who is naturally mutated and does not NEED Duke Power's help.
We went to the Circus at Fat City, but they wouldn't let us video any of it. Soooooooooooo, we bring you our own version of the Circus. You will not beleive the fabulous Circus talent that we present to you tonight. The cast and crew of the movie "Whispers" couldn't beleive that we kidnaped them and made them perform weird and horrible things for your viewing pleasure.
Nick Randberg's Mom gives an editorial on the Peruvian Air Force that will offend our few remaining viewers.
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What would you do if you were a guy who wasn't getting noticed by anybody? ... who couldn't even get the bartender's attention for a beer? Wouldn't you consider changing your appearance? Well, our own Mr Nobody, Scott Actually, made the right choice. He went to ButtCo Labs - the experts in technological solutions to problems like this. And ButtCo Labs delivered! Scott gets more than he bargains for in this episode entitled, "Peek-a-Boobs" (working title: "Hang em High)." This bit involves mad German scientists, babes with spiked heeled-personalities, sleazy corporate shills and plastic. Leave it to ButtCo to come up with a plastic solution to the problem of modern existential angst. In other words, a can't miss skit. Music by Nick Randberg.
We bring you a movie review of "The Mexican" in Turkish with help from the French and the Germans. Could be the United Nations, could be World War III.
Nick Randberg is back and he thinks that his being fired last week was a joke. He is wrong. Nick's Mom comes to his defense, but she is encounters a Xena-like creature at Pat's Tavern, where she blends right in. Could lead to a WZW bunkhouse, chainlink, leather strap, chain saw, battle royal Rasslin' Death Match. Another musical cut by Nick on this skit. Tonight's show features two musical cuts by Nick Randberg - who has outdone himself once again. So listen up. Check out his stuff at www.redcoffee.com .
How do you do a monster movie with a budget of 75 cents? Glue some scary faces to some trash bags, fire up the smoke machine and let'r rip. Don't miss the famous scene where we teach the monsters to dance, Carolina style. Thanks and stay tuned...... visit our website.
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If 'n you saw the article about Z-Axis in last Friday's Observer, you may have noticed that Nick Randberg was not mentioned. Well, Nick noticed, and he's mad as hell and he's not going to take it any more. Nick goes into a monumental rant that should mangage to offend almost everyone. For you Nascar fans, Nick gives a tender memorial for racing legend Dale Earnhart. By the way, Nick Randberg can't stand how Nascar has become so corporate and commercial. He yearns for the good ole days when racin was by ugly tobacco chewin moonshine swigglin guys with no last names - you know, like Nick... ahhh... Randberg himself. Nickrandberg. Yep, that sounds real southern. Nick debutes his new car music video on this show. Southern Culture lives!
The fabulous Neutrino Cam presents the band Suburban Love Junkies from Birmingham (England or Alabama? Caint tell from their accents)... These guys are really quite good. Hey... what are they doing on our show? Neutrino is winning all the awards lately for best music videographer. Tune in to see why. MTV is dead. Long live ZTV!
It started out as an innocent piece of performance art, but The Unusual Waffle Guy Project has turned into a monster. Tune in to find out why Lobster X will never look at a box of Bisquick again. The Freudians will have a field day with this piece. They have a new symbol to kick around for the next millenium. Too bad. Sometimes a box of Bisquick is just a box of Bisquick.
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On this show, we plan to do a good show that is actually funny and entertaining in order to fool our potential new viewer(s) into tuning in again the next week, when they will find out that our regular shows are only mildly amusing and just barely bordering on entertainment, but by then it will be too late. Our subliminal messages will have already turned them into Z-Ombies and they will wander the streets of NoDa late at night in search of PBR.
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Reality TV is all the rage on the networks right now, so we here at Z-Axis bring you REAL stories about REAL animals that do REALLY bad things. And these are not your ordinary bad animals. We're talking about Nazi Turtles and giant Kung Fu Rabbits with BIG knives! Special guest appearances by Bigfoot and Tinky Winky, who is very, very aggressive for a tiny teletubbie. This skit is linked brilliantly by the fact that all of the guest victims carry lunch boxes. If you are an intellectual and understand the symbolism here, please email us. We know its symbolic for something. Something real deep and heavy, like Pat Boone doing heavy metal in a black leather jacket zipped half way down to hell.
The truth? You can't handle the truth! Tonight we bring you a TRUE story that Guthrie made up about government spooks and the internet. Even tho it was written, directed, starring, edited, and shot by Guthrie, I feel that I have somehow affected this piece and therefore deserve all of the credit. Picture me standing on top of a 74 Buick parked downtown at Trade & Tryon shaking my male booty in victory. I'm sorry, Guthrie, but that's how I feel about it.
For those who have requested more fabulous babes on the show, we have a skit called Sexxx In The City. It is stuffed with gratuitous sex, lots and lots of balls, and sports scores for the jocks.
Join us at Pat's Tavern on Monday night to watch the show.
Due to overwhelming demand...The "Unusual Waffle Guy Project" will be back in the window at 23 Studio for the March Gallery Crawl. Come out to see him, partake of his free waffles, enjoy a philosophical conversation, and barf.
Carver the Hammer? Damn him. We present a preview of "Carver the Hammer Goes on a Date" and it is embarassing. What does it mean when a hammer has more personality and gets more fabulous babes than... well, don't be surprised if he gets a little roughed up in some future episode. This is not a threat... just thinking out loud...
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In tonight's episode, Adrian hosts a brand new TV show called "The Urban Hunter." It is a hit. Literally. A smash hit. Just ask Lobster X and Scott Actually. They were his first, only, and last guests. But why must they pick him up off the ground? Tune in to find out.
Dave and Lobster X deliver our finest high-brow piece in a very long time (do you recall the Cafe series by Tryke and Lepton Neutrino?). This piece stars Carver - an avant hammer - and is entitled "A Day in the Life." You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll scratch your head. Another "hit" series by the existential writers at Z-Axis.
The Eighth Samarai. Cool title, huh? Not only that, he knows fung shway etiquette. Yet another in our smash hit samarai series starring Lobster X. You'll laugh. Scratch that. You'll cry. Scratch that. You'll scratch your head!
Did somebody mention smash hits? We feature two local bands that happen to be smash hits: The Interstellars and The Superficials. Video by Neutrinocam. Smashingly refreshing.
Support local culture. Come out to Pat's Tavern and buy the locals a beer.
In next week's episode, Lassie joins a labor union and refuses to work for dog bones. Consequently, Little Ricky perishes from a deadly wolf attack. But enough happy endings. Instead, we present pathos. Lots and lots of it. Lepton Neutrino hosts a new Z-Axis talk show called, "When Animals Do Bad Things." Testimonials from his guests expose the truth about rabbits, turtles, teletubbies, and Bigfoot. Oh, the Horror!
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What if you could go into the mind of a famous person and experience their head for a day? We have finally come up with an original idea! Guests at Pat's Tavern pay the proprietor, Steve, who is selling tickets to Journey to the Center of the Mind of certain famous folks. This concept is the most original we have come up with in the ten years we have been lying around dreaming up ideas for shows. At last we will get the respect we deserve. The critics will finally hail us. Our parents will finally love us. And we might even finally get laid! But we're not done yet. We have more ideas. What if you took a bunch of extroverted exhibitionists and placed them on an island and tempted them to have sex and eat worms together? Stay tuned, because we're on a roll.
What if we placed camcorders all over the place, like a voyeur pervert, and watched as some girls try to start an all-girl rock band in a show called The Pop Stars? And what if we placed camcorders all over the place, like a voyeur pervert, and watch as some sexy cheerleaders try to seduce an amateur football team, called The XFL? And what if we placed camcorders all over the place, like a voyeur pervert, to watch a Love Cruise as we get some sexy couples to date and... have sex? What if we placed camcorders all over the place, like a voyeur pervert, and chained a woman to four men, all of whom want to have sex with her and we called the show Chains of Love? What if we placed a camcorder all over the place, like a voyeur pervert, and watched as lone couples compete to sail around the world? We'd call it Race Around the World. What if we placed camcorders all over the place, like a voyeur pervert, and watched as we try to scare people with snakes, haunted houses, and evil things in a show called The Fear Factor?
We are filled to the brim with original ideas... all of which take a great deal of writing skill, imagination, and talent to produce.
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We will be showing a sex film next time. Just kidding. We're not like that anymore. Actually, it is an educational film. Seriously. An EDUCATIONAL FILM. This show actually features a film that EDUCATES. Our Policy is to EDUCATE our viewers. Did you HEAR that George W.? We are an EDUCATIONAL TV PROGRAM. So don't even think about sending Ashcroft our way. We are a SOCIALLY REDEEMING Television Program.We've even joined that mod (dare I say Hip?) social group called UP WITH PEOPLE! Just tune in on Monday night at 9pm and find out for yourself.
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Oh, my brain hurts. There is so much information in tonights show, featuring Russ Newsom, that I cannot but begin to process it all. Russ shows us how to cook chili, make a UFO, and get properly beat up. All for the sake of our 16 viewers , half of whom are merely browsers who can't find The Allie McWaif show because they smoked too much dope and dropped their remotes in the dark regions of their couches. Now they are stuck watching Z-Axis because it takes too much energy to get up and change the channel. But don't fret for them, lowly viewer, because tonight's episode is both informative and uplifting (especially the part where Russ is killed by an angry mob). Viewers: tonight's episode requires Scratch 'n' Sniff Card 7, I believe, if you want to experience the realistic after-effects of eating chili.
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It's the Neutrino-Cam stream of conciousness and be-bop hip happening that is post modern beat go man go like a cool cat rain on the dog of a highway to bongo land with a cache of cash and swingin chicks like go van go on on the speedway in your head while Neal Cassady rises from the dead of night. It's a melody of see you laters and screwdrivers on carbuerators, heat me up a bear claw on the radar range and take me home MaMa cause the jukebox is screaming my dreaming and I ain't going back to squaresville no more.
..........Attention Ladies!!!!........Don's Discount Dating Service is open for business. Tom Jones will be eating his heart out, cause when you see the video profiles of our hunky bachelors, you ladies will be flinging your undies at the TV screen. Well, you will be flinging SOMETHING at the screen, we guarantee it.
Back to Neutrino-Cam, It's Halloween at Fat City, and Black Acid Disco is on the stage. It's a face painting, car bashing, trash burning, spark flying, eardrum rupturing, head banging kind of night.
The world premiere of Blaine Miller's horror movie (trailer),"BAKERMAN". It's creepier than a love tryst between Richard Simmons and Wayne Newton.
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Thanksgiving is a time for, well, thanksgiving. And so we invite you to join us in the most dirty, depraved, and disgusting Thanksgiving Show we have ever done. You will not be able to avert your eyes as you witness the most spectacularly visual Z-Axis ever filmed. I mean it. This is truely the most despicable show we've ever done... so far. Be warned. This show is not for youngins. It contains violent food fight material, along with graphic sex involving chicken bones and large breasts. The symbolism is beyond me, but suffice it to say that you will find deep meaning in this show. Deep, deep meaning.
Gael Warning - our favorite Celtic band in Charlotte - returns for an encore, minus the dancing feet from last week. The visuals in this were painstakenly pieced together by Lepton Neutrino in his usual award winning videography.
Wanted: actors for Z-Axis. Who knows? You might be good enough to win the TAMMY FAYE AWARD! Contact us at our usual email address: zaxistv@hotmail.com. By the way, we'd like to thank viewer number 26, who emailed us with high praise about last week's show featuring Nick Randberg. We will give that show the prestigeous VIEWER NUMBER 26 AWARD. Congratulations!
Adrian wrote and directed an episode that has real cops playing like they are drug users. Or is it that they are drug users? We got confused after a few splifs, so naturally, we just went with the flow.
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You no longer have to wait for the long awaited documentary, "Waiting for Z-Axis." Lepton Neutrino, Little Shiva, and Tryke (the ghost writer) have delivered a tour de force performance that will leave you speechless. This is even more powerful than the infamous Operative 23 (Tryke/Neutrino), which stopped cars in their tracks as they attempted to park in the parking lot where the film was being shot.
Have you heard about the latest scourge affecting Western society? Lepton Neutrino interviews a famous dead psychiatrist - well, near dead - who fears for the lives of - well, the living. I cannot tell you what this scourge is, but suffice it to say you will be very, very bothered by it. Take heed. This skit was written by Adrian and Steve, with special performances by Lobster and Nick Randberg. (Rumor has it that Nick is undergoing a strange personality change. Perhaps this segment will help explain why.)
Have you ever been hit by a hit man? Al and Lobster teach Nick Randberg this fine art. This show features a special segment of what hit men are like backstage. Bring a hankie, because it will make you cry. This segment has a surprise ending. See if you can figure it out after we show it. Just don't hit me if you can't.
Wait until you see James and TJ perform in The Beggar skit along with our regular pro's. This is a concept piece by Adrian about the existential struggle for authenticy in our gritty urban society. Wow. Did I say that? I need to be a paid movie reviewer. An honest one.
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Camp Counselor Bob takes a group of little tykes on a gentle tour of the woods. Very few of the children were seriously injured, and only a small fraction of them were lost in the woods never to be heard from again. Trouble is, however, Bob was unable to deny the allegations that some of the children were eaten alive by wild creatures. That's his story and he's stickin to it.
Wrastlin. Wrasslin. Wrestlinn. What ever. We got it. This time the WZW Wrestling Federation sinks to a new low in bad taste, although the provocative squats by the fabulous babes make this show a sure-fire HIT. We are usually proud of our high-brow content, but this time we are disgusted by ourselves. We can't believe we actually shot this - and watched it ... over and over. Until mom came into the bedroom and we had to wash our hands. Yes, lightening did strike that night, as we were able to salvage the best parts of the show just before mom flushed the tape down the toilet. You bet. You can watch it too. Judge for yourself. But bring some protection.
Damn that Nick Randberg. He's on the show again. Pissing off all of our good friends in the Dilworth community. Wait... we don't have any friends in Dilworth. They hate us. Go Nick!!
We are giving a prize to the 1st person who responds to the following question correctly: In what state does a nun wrestle her former schoolchildren just for kicks? If you know the answer, simply email us zaxistv@hotmail.com and we'll announce the winner and their prize on a future episode of Z-Axis. We will give $1.00 to the correct answer. Minus our expenses.
Wanted: actors for Z-Axis. Who knows? You might be good enough to win the FELINI AWARD! Contact us at our usual email address: zaxistv@hotmail.com. By the way, we'd like to thank viewer number 12, who emailed us with high praise about last week's show featuring Nick Randberg. We will give that show the prestigeous VIEWER NUMBER 12 AWARD. Congratulations!
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Charlotte's very own Tammy Faye is back in town with her new show, PTL-2. In this week's episode, Tammy Faye crys a lot over a brand new ButtCo product introduced on the show: Rezurrection Motor Oil. Why walk to the promised land when you can drive? See the moving testimonials. Meet the mysterious Reverend. Step on the Gas, and Praise the Lord.
What happens when you cross a hillbilly dancer with a snake? Incredible symbolism characterizes the second performance on this week's show. You figyer it out. We will give $100 to the person who first cyfirs out the meanin of that reptile, cause we sure as hell caint.
We are giving a prize to the 1st person who responds to the following question correctly: In what state does a former religious talk show cohost perform lewd acts using nothing but her eyes and a pound of Mabeline? If you know the answer, simply email us zaxistv@hotmail.com and we'll announce the winner and their prize on a future episode of Z-Axis.
Wanted: actors for Z-Axis. Who knows? You might be good enough to win the TAMMY FAYE AWARD! Contact us at our usual email address: zaxistv@hotmail.com. By the way, we'd like to thank viewer number 6, who emailed us with high praise about last week's show featuring Nick Randberg. We will give that show the prestigeous VIEWER NUMBER 6 AWARD. Congratulations!
The Charlotte City Counsel has banned horse-drawn carriages downtown (they even call it uptown, the bastards). However, they did not ban human-powered carriages. Let's just hope they don't require a diaper. In this episode, we bring back the rikshaw, alienating both local city government and our Chinese viewers (both of them).
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